A recent study published in Personal Relationships provides evidence that individuals with exceptionally trusting and kind personalities do not actively seek out manipulative or cruel partners. Instead, they simply tend to be less likely to reject these types of people compared to the average person. This dynamic suggests that a strong tendency to see the good in others can sometimes reduce a person’s selectivity in romantic contexts.
The authors behind the new study sought to better understand how contrasting personality traits interact during the very early stages of romantic attraction. In the study of relationships, there is an idea known as complementarity. This concept suggests that people might be drawn to partners who possess different characteristics than their own, such as a submissive person seeking a dominant partner.
“Finding the ‘perfect match,’ a romantic partner, is something many people aspire to. One might assume that we all simply want to be happy and, ideally, not alone. A substantial body of research shows that similarity in certain traits (e.g., values, beliefs, etc.) is beneficial for long-term relationship satisfaction. At the same time, dissimilarity in other traits, such as social dominance, may also have advantages,” said study author Jana Sophie Kesenheimer, postdoctoral researcher at the University of Innsbruck.
The researchers aimed to test whether this idea of opposites attracting applies to extreme personality profiles. Specifically, they looked at the interaction between the dark tetrad and the light triad of personality. The dark tetrad is a group of four traits associated with manipulation, callousness, and a desire for power.
The four dark traits are narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and everyday sadism. Narcissism involves a sense of superiority and a need for admiration, while Machiavellianism describes emotionally distant people who use strategic manipulation to exploit others. Psychopathy is characterized by impulsive behavior and a lack of empathy, and sadism involves experiencing pleasure from inflicting harm on other people.
On the other hand, the light triad consists of three positive traits that focus on altruism and empathy. These include humanism, which means valuing the dignity of others, and a belief in the basic goodness of people, known as faith in humanity. The third trait is Kantianism, which involves a preference for honesty and treating people with inherent worth rather than as tools for personal gain.
“We wanted to examine the ‘extremes’ of human personality (though still within the subclinical range): the dark and the light sides,” Kesenheimer explained. “Kaufman and colleagues (2019) proposed that individuals with light personalities may be particularly vulnerable to exploitation by those with dark traits. Bringing these assumptions together, we aimed to test whether this dynamic would emerge in a real dating context.”
To investigate these dynamics, the researchers organized six speed-dating sessions in May 2023. The sample included 128 participants, consisting of 66 men and 62 women. The participants had an average age of about 24 years, and the vast majority reported being single.
Before the dates began, participants filled out questionnaires to measure their dark and light personality traits. They rated how much they agreed with statements assessing their levels of manipulation, empathy, and other related characteristics. Following the surveys, they took part in a series of three-minute dates.
In total, the scientists analyzed 1,429 heterosexual speed dates, with each person going on an average of 11 dates. After each brief interaction, participants indicated their dating interest. They answered questions about whether they wanted to meet the specific person again, as well as their interest in short-term sexual encounters or long-term relationships.
The researchers evaluated physical attractiveness as a control measure. Both the participants themselves and independent observers rated physical appearance. This allowed the scientists to account for the known effect that physical beauty has on initial romantic attraction, ensuring that personality effects could be seen clearly.
The findings revealed that Machiavellianism and sadism generally reduced a person’s dating success. Participants who scored high in Machiavellianism were chosen less frequently as potential partners for both short-term and long-term relationships. Similarly, participants with sadistic tendencies were less likely to be selected by their dating partners.
Narcissism and psychopathy did not show this negative relationship with dating outcomes. People with these traits were not rejected by the general pool of daters at a higher rate. In fact, narcissists, psychopaths, and sadists tended to show a higher overall interest in pursuing short-term mating opportunities compared to the rest of the group.
Machiavellian individuals displayed a heightened interest in both short-term and long-term relationships. This pattern suggests that their manipulative goals might find fulfillment in a variety of relationship types. In contrast, people with light personalities showed less interest in short-term encounters and preferred to focus on meeting their dates again.
When the researchers looked at how specific pairs interacted, they noticed a clear pattern regarding Machiavellianism and sadism. The dating success of people with these specific dark traits depended heavily on the light personality traits of their partners. When their dating partner scored low on light traits, the Machiavellian and sadistic individuals were strongly rejected.
However, when their dating partner scored high on light traits, this rejection essentially disappeared. Individuals with light personalities did not show a heightened attraction to these manipulative or cruel dates. They simply did not dislike them as intensely as the other participants did.
The scientists also found that this dynamic was not reciprocal. People with Machiavellian or sadistic traits did not show any special preference for daters with light personalities. This lack of mutual interest provides evidence that there is no specific attraction between dark and light profiles, ruling out the idea that these opposites naturally seek each other out.
“Based on our findings, there does not appear to be a specific attraction between light and dark personalities,” Kesenheimer told PsyPost. “Rather, individuals with light personalities are more likely to place trust in people who are typically rejected by others.”
“Given that people may pursue different goals in dating (for some, finding love; for others, perhaps trolling, manipulating, or controlling others, as individuals with sadistic or Machiavellian tendencies might) one should maintain a healthy level of caution, even when someone appears charming. When falling in love, however, this may be particularly difficult.”
These findings come with a few limitations. First, the researchers noted that the effect sizes were relatively small, meaning that personality traits are just one piece of the complex puzzle of romantic attraction. Additionally, because the study relied on self-reported questionnaires, participants might have underreported their dark tendencies to appear more socially acceptable.
The scientists also pointed out that the exact psychological mechanism remains unclear. It is not known whether individuals with light personalities recognize the manipulative traits and consciously choose to overlook them. It is equally possible that their trusting nature simply prevents them from noticing the warning signs in the first place.
Future research could explore these interactions over a longer period of time. Tracking couples could help determine if these initial matches eventually lead to emotional abuse or toxic relationship dynamics. Scientists also suggest looking at online dating platforms and exploring these interactions among queer individuals to see if the patterns hold true in different contexts.
“It is important to clarify that light personalities – loving and trusting individuals – do not actively choose dark personalities (nor is the reverse true),” Kesenheimer added. “Instead, the key finding is that individuals with light personalities are less likely to reject those whom others tend to reject. This highlights how a general tendency to see the good in people, while often positive, may also reduce selectivity in romantic contexts.”
The study, “Shedding Light on Dark Romance: Light Personalities’ Reduced Rejection of Machiavellian and Sadistic Partners,” was authored by Jana Sophie Kesenheimer, Amadeus Angermann, Lucia Maria Raschel, and Tobias Greitemeyer.
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