Marriages are happier when partners find each other without intermediaries, study suggests

An analysis of data from the China Family Panel Studies collected between 2010 and 2020 found that individuals who met their spouse on their own, without intermediaries, were more satisfied with their marriage than individuals who relied on introductions by others. Also, marital satisfaction was lower when couples met through family introductions compared to being introduced by friends. The research was published in Critical Humanistic Social Theory.

Historically, marital partners very often met through family arrangements, community networks, religious institutions, or formal matchmaking rather than on their own. In earlier times, marriages used to serve economic, social, or political functions that were often considered more important than personal ones.

In many societies, parents or extended kin played a central role in selecting suitable partners. Social class, religion, ethnicity, and family reputation strongly constrained partner choice. Romantic attraction was often considered secondary and expected to develop after marriage rather than before it.

However, with industrialization and urbanization, individuals gained more autonomy in choosing partners on their own by meeting them through workplaces, schools, and social gatherings. In the late 20th century, dating became a more individualized process centered on personal preference and emotional compatibility.

Today, marital partners commonly meet through online dating platforms, social media, and mobile apps, greatly expanding the pool of potential partners. In contrast to previous times, modern partner choice emphasizes love, mutual satisfaction, and psychological compatibility rather than social obligation.

Study author Xueshen Ding investigated how the method through which a person met their spouse is associated with marital satisfaction. He categorized the methods by which spouses met into two categories: self-initiated acquaintance and non-self-initiated acquaintance.

“The ‘non-self-initiated acquaintance’ classification encompasses partnerships formed through introductions by friends, parents or other relatives, as well as those established via marriage-oriented platforms and activities including television matchmaking programs, online dating platforms, and large-scale offline matchmaking events. Conversely, ‘self-initiated acquaintance’ refers to relationships developed through organic interactions in settings such as educational institutions and workplaces, or through non-marriage-oriented online platforms and activities where the primary purpose is not partner matching,” the study author explained.

The data for this analysis came from the China Family Panel Studies (CFPS) project spanning the period between 2010 and 2020. CFPS is a comprehensive longitudinal survey that collects data on community, household, and individual levels. The dataset used in this study included responses from 12,883 respondents across 25 provincial-level administrative regions in China.

The study author used data on the mate selection method (how participants met their partners) and satisfaction with their relationship (measured by the question: “Overall, how satisfied are you with your current marriage/cohabitation relationship?”).

Results showed that individuals who met their partner on their own (self-initiated acquaintance) tended to be more satisfied with their marriages or cohabitation relationships than individuals who were introduced to their partner by other people or services (non-self-initiated acquaintances).

When couples met through family introductions, relationship satisfaction tended to be lower than for couples who met through friends. Similarly, participants who met their partners online (via non-dating platforms) tended to be less satisfied with their relationship compared to participants who met their partners on their own offline.

The study sheds light on the links between mate selection methods and marital/relationship satisfaction. However, it should be noted that the design of the study does not allow any causal inferences to be derived from the results.

Relationship satisfaction primarily depends on the characteristics of the partners and the quality of their ongoing interactions. In that sense, it is likely that the methods through which a person initially met their partner reflect their broader behavioral tendencies in romantic relationships rather than constituting an independent determinant of relationship quality.

The paper, “The Impact of Mate Selection Methods on Marital Satisfaction —An Investigation Based on CFPS 2010-2020 Data,” was authored by Xueshen Ding.