Men who use sex to cope with stress are more likely to be sexually aggressive

A new study published in The Journal of Sex Research has found that men who seek sex primarily to cope with negative emotions or to affirm their self-worth may be more likely to engage in sexually aggressive behaviors. These findings suggest that the underlying reasons why a person pursues sexual activity could serve as early indicators of risk for coercive behavior.

Sexual violence remains a significant public health challenge in the United States. Statistics indicate that a large portion of the population has experienced some form of non-consensual sexual contact. While perpetrators can be of any gender, men commit the majority of these acts, particularly against women. Consequently, scientists have sought to understand the psychological factors that drive some men to use coercion or force.

Previous academic models have attempted to explain this behavior. One prominent theory is the Confluence Model. This model suggests that a combination of hostile attitudes toward women and a preference for “impersonal sex” leads to aggression. Impersonal sex refers to a noncommittal approach where an individual disconnects sex from emotional intimacy.

Men who prefer impersonal sex often engage in casual sexual encounters and have more partners. This orientation is a known predictor of sexual aggression. However, knowing that someone prefers casual sex does not fully explain why they are seeking it.

The specific psychological motives behind the pursuit of sex have been less thoroughly investigated in relation to aggression. The authors of the current study aimed to fill this gap.

“Sexual violence is an extremely prevalent issue in the United States, and one avenue for informing prevention efforts is identifying risk factors for sexual aggression behaviors,” explained study authors Ella Schmidt and Lidia Meshesha of the University of Central Florida.

“Men who perpetrate sexual violence experience sexual arousal and a desire for sex prior to perpetrating; however, examining the association between motives for sex and sexual aggression was relatively under-investigated. We conducted this study to address this gap and look specifically at which motives for engaging in sex may be associated with sexual aggression. We wanted to examine whether the reasons why men choose to have sex is influential in them perpetrating sexual aggression.”

The researchers utilized a theoretical framework that categorizes sexual motives based on two dimensions. The first dimension distinguishes between “approach” and “avoidance” behaviors. Approach motives involve pursuing a positive outcome, such as physical pleasure. Avoidance motives involve trying to escape a negative outcome, such as loneliness or distress.

The second dimension distinguishes between “self-focused” and “social-focused” motives. Self-focused motives prioritize the individual’s own needs, such as autonomy or stress relief. Social-focused motives prioritize the relationship or the partner, such as wanting to deepen intimacy.

The researchers hypothesized that motives which are both self-focused and avoidant would be most strongly linked to aggression. Specifically, they looked at coping and self-affirmation. Coping involves using sex to manage negative emotions. Self-affirmation involves using sex to boost one’s ego or self-worth.

To test this hypothesis, the research team recruited 733 young adult men between the ages of 18 and 35. The participants were recruited through CloudResearch, an online platform. To be eligible, participants had to be cisgender men who resided in the United States. They also must have engaged in sexual activity in the past year and consumed alcohol in the past month.

The study employed a longitudinal design. This means the researchers tracked the same group of men over a period of time. Participants completed three separate surveys. They took a baseline survey at the start of the study. They then completed follow-up surveys two weeks and four weeks later.

During the baseline survey, the men completed the Sex Motives Scale. This 29-item questionnaire assesses six distinct reasons for having sex. The first is enhancement, which means having sex for pleasure. The second is intimacy, or having sex to feel close to a partner.

The third motive is peer approval, which involves having sex to fit in with friends. The fourth is partner approval, which means having sex to avoid a partner’s anger. The fifth is coping, defined as using sex to deal with disappointment. The sixth is self-affirmation, or having sex to reassure oneself of their attractiveness.

The participants also completed the Sexual Strategies Scale. This measure asks whether the individual has used specific tactics to convince someone to have sex after that person initially said “no.” The list of tactics includes a range of coercive behaviors. Examples include persistent requests, telling lies, and getting a partner intoxicated.

Other examples include threatening to end the relationship or using physical force. At the baseline, participants reported if they had ever used these strategies. At the two-week and four-week follow-ups, they reported if they had used them recently.

The researchers controlled for other variables that might influence the results. These included the frequency of sex and the participant’s general orientation toward impersonal sex. By controlling for these factors, the authors could isolate the specific impact of sexual motives.

The results supported the researchers’ main predictions. The data showed that men who endorsed coping and self-affirmation motives at the start of the study were more likely to engage in sexual aggression during the following month.

Specifically, using sex to cope with negative emotions was a predictor of future aggression. Similarly, using sex to validate one’s self-worth was also a predictor. These two motives share common traits. They are both focused on the self rather than the partner. They are also both focused on alleviating a negative internal state.

In contrast, other motives did not show the same association. Intimacy, peer approval, partner approval, and enhancement motives were not statistically linked to sexual aggression at the follow-up points. This suggests that the drive for pleasure or social connection is not inherently tied to coercive behavior in the same way that emotional regulation is.

The researchers also used a statistical method called a hurdle model. This allows scientists to see if a variable predicts the likelihood of an event happening versus the frequency of it happening.

The findings indicated that coping and self-affirmation motives predicted the likelihood of engaging in sexual aggression. However, among the men who did engage in aggression, these motives did not predict a higher count of aggressive acts. In other words, these motives might push a man to cross the line into coercion, but they do not necessarily predict how many different coercive tactics he will use.

The researchers interpret these results through the lens of emotional avoidance. Men who use sex to cope are attempting to escape distress. When they face sexual rejection, this may threaten their ability to manage that distress. This could lead to a coercive response to secure the sexual activity they feel they need for emotional relief.

Similarly, men who use sex for self-affirmation rely on sexual conquest to feel good about themselves. Rejection in this context might be perceived as a direct blow to their self-esteem. Aggression may then become a strategy to avoid the negative feelings associated with that rejection.

As with all research, there are some limitations. The research relied on self-reported data. Participants may not always be honest about sensitive topics like sexual aggression. However, the anonymous nature of the online survey may have encouraged honesty.

The study also had a relatively short duration of four weeks. While this allowed for the observation of immediate behavior, it does not capture long-term patterns.

The measure of sexual aggression included a wide range of behaviors. These ranged from persistent verbal pressure to physical force. While all are forms of coercion, they vary in severity. The most frequently reported behavior was continuing to touch and kiss a partner in hopes they would give in.

Future research could explore these associations in more detail. It would be beneficial to see if these findings hold true over a longer period. It would also be helpful to investigate if teaching men healthier coping mechanisms could reduce rates of sexual aggression.

The findings have practical implications for prevention efforts. Current sexual assault prevention programs often focus on consent education and changing attitudes about gender. This study suggests that emotional regulation training could be a valuable addition.

“Our findings suggest that one’s motives for sex, specifically coping and self-affirmation motives, are related to sexual aggression behaviors among young adult men,” Schmidt and Meshesha told PsyPost. “Coping motives for sex include when a person engages in sex to help them feel better when they experience negative emotions such as stress or sadness. Self-affirmation motives for sex is when someone uses sex to help boost their self-worth or to help themselves feel good about themselves.”

“Our study results suggest that men who use sex to cope or to self-affirm are more likely to engage in sexual aggression. Our interpretation of these results is that these motives are self-focused and avoidant, meaning that individuals who endorse these motives are engaging in sex to avoid negative outcomes or emotions (e.g., avoiding rejection), and they engage in sex for their own needs rather than relationship or intimacy needs.”

“Ultimately, these findings can inform us about individuals who may be at greater risk for perpetrating sexual violence and can help with public health prevention efforts that advise healthier coping strategies and techniques to help improve self-affirmation with other strategies,” the researchers concluded.

The study, “Sexual Aggression and Motives for Sex Among Young Adult Men,” was authored by Ella G. Schmidt, Lidia Z. Meshesha, Callie L. Wang, Tatiana D. Magri, Minh D. Nguyen, Rashmi Ghonasgi, Apollonia E. Lysandrou, Maria Clara Quintal, Kryssa Bijelic, Nioud Mulugeta Gebru, and Jacqueline Woerner.