Merry Christmas From a Certain Carpenter

Photo: Netflix

Sabrina Carpenter is wildly talented, a breath of fresh air in the pop landscape, and — look, she’s short, okay? Like, so, so tiny. At the final U.S. show of her Short n’ Sweet Tour last night in Los Angeles, the five-foot elf herself debuted the trailer for her holiday variety show, A Nonsense Christmas With Sabrina Carpenter. Sure, you could focus on the stacked roster of guest stars, the surprise costumes “for the girls” and “for the gays,” or the holly-jolly sex puns galore. Still, situating herself next to the four-foot-11 “ghost of Christmas present” Quinta Brunson only reinforces her vertical deficiencies. You’re not fooling anyone, little Miss Nonsense!

The special, streaming on Netflix December 6 at 9 p.m. ET, will feature Carpenter performing tracks from her 2023 EP fruitcake and other classic holiday covers. She’s also bringing on the guest stars, performing duets with Chappell Roan, Tyla, Shania Twain, and Kali Uchis. Other guests include Nico Hiraga, Cara Delevingne, Kyle Mooney, Megan Stalter, Sean Astin, Owen Thiele, and Jillian Bell. The special will cap off a year in which Carpenter has released a No. 1 album, toured with Taylor Swift, and received Grammy nominations in all of the big four categories. She’s really at the height of her career — unlike her, that keeps going up. Sorry, we’re done!

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