New psychology research shows what’s really driving your fear of missing out

A new study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology reveals that the fear of missing out, or FOMO, isn’t just about missing out on fun. Instead, it’s about missing opportunities to bond with people we care about. The research highlights how FOMO stems from anxiety over how our absence might affect our relationships and belonging in social groups—concerns that can arise even when the missed events aren’t particularly enjoyable.

FOMO has gained significant attention as a psychological phenomenon, often associated with compulsive smartphone use, reduced well-being, and unsafe behaviors like distracted driving. While previous studies have linked FOMO to traits like loneliness and a need for social connection, the researchers behind the new study sought to understand the specific triggers and thought patterns behind FOMO. They hypothesized that FOMO goes beyond mere regret over missed enjoyable experiences and instead stems from anxiety about social group dynamics and future belonging.

“As a consumer psychologist, I am interested in understanding what goes into consumers’ decisions and how these decisions impact their well-being. I’m particularly interested in decisions about spending time—both how we spend our own time and the interpretations we draw from how others spend time,” said study author Jacqueline R. Rifkin, an assistant professor of marketing at SC Johnson College of Business at Cornell University.

“Based on these interests, it’s likely not surprising that I study decisions to attend events and experiences—but, perhaps less obviously, I’m also interested in what happens when we miss events and experiences. That’s how I got interested in FOMO and understanding the specific anxieties involved, especially when we miss events involving social connections we care deeply about.”

The researchers conducted seven experiments with a total of 5,441 participants. These experiments explored various scenarios involving missed events to uncover the psychological drivers of FOMO. Participants were recruited from online platforms like Amazon Mechanical Turk and Prolific, and the studies used diverse methods, including hypothetical scenarios, real social media browsing tasks, and experimental manipulations of event characteristics.

The findings showed that participants experienced greater FOMO when they missed events involving close friends or important social groups compared to events involving strangers or irrelevant groups. Notably, FOMO was heightened in scenarios where events promoted social bonding, such as team-building activities, even if these activities were uncomfortable or demanding. This suggests that the value of the missed event lies not in its inherent enjoyment but in the perception of connection and shared history it fosters among group members. Missing these opportunities appears to trigger fears of diminished closeness, reduced status, or even exclusion from the group.

“I was surprised to see that people can feel a good bit of FOMO for missed events that are not enjoyable—like a funeral, consoling a sad friend, or a hectic initiation ceremony,” Rifkin told PsyPost. “For me, this really hammered home the point that FOMO is really not about the fun that we’re missing—it’s those intangible connections people build when they spend time together, which absolutely includes bonding over something sad or emotional.”

The researchers found that FOMO was amplified by social media, where seeing posts about missed events acted as a situational trigger for social anxiety. Participants reported concerns about how their absence might affect their relationships, including fears of being seen as a less valuable group member or being left out of future interactions.

Interestingly, these anxieties were often exaggerated when individuals considered the potential consequences for themselves. When asked to imagine a friend missing the same event, participants perceived the social ramifications as less severe. This finding highlights a cognitive bias where individuals overestimate the personal costs of missing social bonding opportunities.

The research also underscored the complex nature of FOMO, showing it is distinct from other social phenomena like regret or feelings of ostracism. While regret focuses on a missed experience’s immediate rewards, and ostracism relates to active exclusion, FOMO centers on anxiety about future social relationships. This distinction helps explain why people may feel FOMO even for unenjoyable missed events—such as a grueling team-building retreat—if they perceive those events as opportunities for bonding among their peers.

“FOMO is not about the event that you missed per se: If we miss a group dinner at a restaurant, we’re not really upset about the missed food and drink,” Rifkin explained. “What we’re upset about is the fact that we missed the chance to bond, connect, and make memories with people we care about. Even more so, we’re upset about the implications of the fact that people we care about were able to bond, connect, and make memories with each other: What does it mean for us (and our social relationships) that we missed out? Could it somehow damage our relationships or sense of belonging? This is the core of the anxiety.”

Importantly, the study identified an intervention that reduced FOMO: reflecting on a past instance of social connection. Participants who engaged in this simple exercise reported lower levels of FOMO after encountering social media posts about missed events. This intervention suggests that reminding oneself of past belonging can provide a buffer against the emotional distress associated with perceived social exclusion. The effect was particularly noticeable compared to other strategies, such as imagining future connections or taking a third-person perspective, which showed smaller and less consistent benefits.

“We were really encouraged when one of the small interventions we tested—reflecting on a past social engagement—mitigated the FOMO people got from seeing social media posts about missed events,” Rifkin told PsyPost. “Since FOMO is really an anxiety about one’s relationships and sense of belonging, it makes sense that reminding yourself of existing strong connections and prior times you felt a sense of belonging can help offset this. But it also offers a relatively simple technique, almost like a short mindfulness exercise, that we can use when FOMO strikes.”

While the study provides significant insights into the social and psychological roots of FOMO, it is not without limitations. The samples were predominantly drawn from online marketplaces, limiting diversity in cultural backgrounds and age groups. Additionally, although the findings suggest causal relationships, some results rely on correlational data, making it difficult to establish definitive cause-and-effect links.

Future research could explore FOMO across different cultures, where norms around social bonding and group membership may vary. Another potential avenue is to investigate FOMO in non-social domains, such as financial or professional settings, to understand whether the psychological mechanisms extend beyond social relationships.

“Some might wonder if FOMO is a new phenomenon that arose from social media or mobile phone use, or whether this is something older but just with a new name,” Rifkin added. “Personally, my perspective is that people have wanted to feel like they belong since the beginning of time. But what’s new or modern is how much of our social lives show up on social media, and how interconnected we can stay at all times. So, reminders about what we did or what we didn’t do, and anxieties about what it could mean for us, have become ubiquitous and inescapable.”

“My overarching research aims are to understand how our consumption decisions (and our observations of others’ consumption decisions) shape well-being, both at an individual and societal level. Through my research, I’m hoping I can understand the pitfalls where we may accidentally sabotage or undermine our own happiness, and offer recommendations for ways to halt these cycles and improve personal and collective wellness. These insights will not only help individuals manage their own lives but also provide a roadmap for marketers and firms who care about their customer bases. After all, happy customers are loyal customers.”

The study, “Anxiety About the Social Consequences of Missed Group Experiences Intensifies Fear of Missing Out (FOMO),” was authored by Jacqueline R. Rifkin, Cindy Chan, and Barbara E. Kahn.