New research links on-again, off-again relationships to increased psychological and physical symptoms

Getting back together with an ex might feel like a second chance at love, but a recent study suggests that a pattern of breaking up and making up can act as a chronic stressor that takes a toll on mental and physical health. Published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, the research provides evidence that the stress generated by on-again, off-again relationships compounds over time. This compounding tension indirectly leads to increased psychological and physical symptoms for the partners involved.

Relationship cycling, defined as breaking up and renewing a romantic partnership at least once, is highly common. Approximately two thirds of adults have experienced at least one cyclical relationship in their lifetime.

Past studies indicate that partners in these unstable dynamics tend to report lower relationship satisfaction and engage in more negative behaviors compared to stably coupled individuals. Despite the widespread assumption that breaking up and getting back together is distressing, there has been limited direct evidence linking this specific pattern to chronic relational stress. The scientists wanted to establish a clearer connection between the fluctuating status of a relationship and the daily well-being of the people in it.

“My colleagues/co-authors, Amber Vennum (Kansas State University) and Kale Monk (University of Missouri), and I all do research on cyclical relationships,” said corresponding author René Dailey, a professor in the Department of Communication Studies at the University of Texas at Austin.

“We have become increasingly interested in understanding the effects of cycling on partners’ mental health, particularly with regard to the problematic interaction patterns (ineffective conflict, aggression) they tend to exhibit more than non-cyclical relationships. In this paper, we wanted use existing data to assess any links between these problematic interaction patterns, relational stress, and mental health, and particularly if these links strengthened with additional breakup-renewal cycles.”

The researchers proposed a new model to explain how the negative interactions inherent in cyclical relationships generate ongoing stress. They suspected that this chronic tension depletes the emotional resources partners need to resolve conflicts effectively. When couples carry unresolved issues into a renewed relationship, they likely have fewer emotional reserves to navigate new challenges.

By testing this model, the scientists aimed to show how repeated relationship transitions act as an internal stressor that ultimately compromises overall well-being. To explore these dynamics, the scientists analyzed four distinct datasets collected through online surveys. The first sample included 383 adults recruited online, with 34 percent currently in a cyclical relationship.

The researchers measured the participants’ cycling status, the number of breakup and renewal cycles they had experienced, and their recent psychological and physical symptoms. Psychological symptoms included feelings like anxiety, depression, irritability, or loneliness. Physical symptoms included issues like frequent headaches, stomach aches, or general illness.

In this first group, the researchers found that cyclical partners reported more psychological symptoms than those in stable relationships. They also found that a higher number of breakup cycles was positively associated with more physical symptoms. This suggests a cumulative physical toll for partners who repeatedly end and restart their relationships.

The second sample consisted of 283 college students, 44 percent of whom were in cyclical relationships. For this group, the survey measured psychological and physical symptoms alongside relational stress. Relational stress refers to the specific anxiety, worry, and emotional exhaustion stemming directly from the romantic partnership.

The scientists found that cyclical partners in the second sample experienced significantly higher levels of relational stress compared to those who never broke up. When analyzing the connections between these factors, the data suggested an indirect effect. Relationship cycling was associated with elevated relational stress, which in turn predicted an increase in both psychological and physical health complaints.

The third sample focused entirely on individuals currently in cyclical relationships, comprising 306 online participants. The researchers wanted to see if the sheer quantity of breakups influenced the level of tension within the partnership. They found a clear positive association in this group, showing that individuals who reported a higher number of past breakups and renewals with their current partner also reported experiencing greater relational stress.

The fourth sample included 99 online participants who were also currently in on-again, off-again relationships. This survey measured the number of relationship cycles alongside problematic interaction patterns. Specifically, the researchers looked at ineffective conflict resolution, such as leaving arguments hanging, and communicative aggression, which involves hostile behaviors like yelling, invading privacy, or deception.

The researchers found that both ineffective conflict resolution and aggressive communication interacted with the number of breakup cycles to predict higher relational stress. The association between these negative behaviors and stress was actually strongest for couples with fewer breakups. The researchers suspect this might indicate a ceiling effect for couples with a long history of breaking up.

A ceiling effect means that a specific measurement has already reached its peak, so additional contributing factors do not cause a noticeable increase. Partners who constantly cycle in and out of their relationship might already be experiencing so much baseline stress that additional arguments or hostility do not drastically alter their elevated tension levels. Those with fewer breakups, on the other hand, might be much more sensitive to sudden spikes in conflict.

“The stress stemming from conflict or aggression may compound over multiple breakup-renewal cycles and have consequences for mental health,” Dailey told PsyPost. “In other words, the stress from conflict or aggression experienced in initial phases of the relationship may not necessarily be resolved when reconciling after a breakup. This could make it more difficult to navigate new or recurring stressors and increasingly compromise partners’ mental health. ”

While these findings provide evidence that relationship cycling acts as a chronic stressor, there are some limitations to keep in mind. Because the data from all four samples was correlational, it is not possible to prove a strict cause and effect relationship. It remains possible that preexisting mental health struggles or external stressors cause both the relationship instability and the reported symptoms.

The data was also collected primarily from white, heterosexual individuals using online platforms and college courses. This demographic focus means the results might not fully represent the experiences of other populations, such as different racial groups, sexual orientations, or socioeconomic backgrounds. The researchers also did not track which partner initiated the breakups, a factor that could heavily influence individual stress levels.

Future research should track couples longitudinally, meaning observing the same individuals over a long period of time. This approach would help scientists determine exactly how stress and negative interactions accumulate across multiple breakups and renewals. Following individuals as their relationships transition could help confirm whether relational stress truly acts as the bridge between cyclical romances and deteriorating health.

“We would like to secure funding in order to track individuals in relationships over time to determine how problematic interaction patterns and stress accumulate across multiple cycles and their effects on mental health,” Dailey said. “In the paper, we proposed a model that we would like to test with this type of longitudinal data.”

The study, “Establishing links between relationship cycling, relational stress, and well-being,” was authored by René M. Dailey, Amber Vennum, and J. Kale Monk.