A new series of studies published in Computers in Human Behavior has found that keeping tabs on a former romantic partner through social media hinders emotional recovery. The findings indicate that both intentional surveillance and accidental exposure to an ex-partner’s content are associated with increased distress, jealousy, and negative mood.
Tara C. Marshall, an associate professor at McMaster University, conducted this research to understand the psychological aftermath of maintaining digital connections with former partners. While social media platforms allow users to maintain contact with friends and family, they also create an archive of information about past relationships. Marshall sought to clarify whether observing an ex-partner actively or passively leads to worse recovery outcomes over time.
Previous research on this topic often relied on data collected at a single point in time, which makes it difficult to determine if social media use causes emotional distress or if distressed individuals simply use social media more often. By examining the timing of these behaviors, the study intends to determine if observing an ex-partner precedes a decline in well-being. The research also explores whether personality traits like attachment anxiety, characterized by a fear of rejection and a desire for extreme closeness, worsen these effects.
Marshall conducted four separate studies to address these questions using different methodologies. The first study employed a longitudinal design to assess changes over time. Marshall recruited 194 adults through Amazon Mechanical Turk who had experienced a romantic breakup within the previous three months.
To be included, participants had to be registered Facebook users who had viewed their ex-partner’s profile at least once. Participants completed an initial survey measuring their attachment style, active Facebook surveillance, and current levels of distress. Six months later, they completed the same measures.
The results from the first study showed that frequent monitoring of an ex-partner’s Facebook page was associated with higher levels of distress and jealousy at both the beginning of the study and six months later. While feelings of distress generally declined over time for most participants, active observation moderated the change in negative affect.
Specifically, individuals who engaged in high levels of surveillance saw their negative mood increase over the six-month period. The data also revealed that the link between active observation and breakup distress was stronger for people with high attachment anxiety. This suggests that for individuals who already fear abandonment, seeing reminders of an ex-partner online is particularly painful.
To better understand the immediate emotional impact of social media exposure, Marshall conducted a second study using an experimental design. This study involved 407 adults recruited from the United States who had experienced a breakup within the last year.
Participants were randomly assigned to one of three conditions. One group was instructed to imagine looking at their ex-partner’s Facebook profile, including photos and relationship status. A second group imagined looking at an acquaintance’s Facebook profile. The third group imagined their ex-partner in a school or workplace setting, without any social media context.
The experiment revealed that participants who visualized their ex-partner’s Facebook page reported significantly higher levels of jealousy compared to those who imagined an acquaintance or the ex-partner in a real-world setting.
This increased jealousy was statistically linked to higher levels of negative affect and breakup distress. The findings indicate that there is something uniquely triggering about social media observation. It is not simply thinking about the ex-partner that causes jealousy, but rather the specific context of social media, which often displays personal information and interactions with potential new romantic rivals.
The third study utilized a daily diary method to capture real-time fluctuations in mood and behavior. Marshall recruited 77 undergraduate students in the United Kingdom who had gone through a breakup in the last two years. For seven consecutive days, participants completed a survey every night before bed. They reported whether they had engaged in active observation, defined as deliberately searching for their ex-partner’s profile, or passive observation, defined as the ex-partner’s posts appearing in their feed without a search. They also rated their daily negative emotions and specific distress regarding the breakup.
This daily tracking provided evidence for the timing of these emotional shifts. On days when participants passively observed their ex-partner on platforms like Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat, they reported higher negative affect for that same day. This suggests that even unintentional exposure can dampen one’s mood. When participants engaged in active observation, the consequences appeared more severe.
Active searching was associated with higher breakup distress on the same day and predicted higher distress on the following day. This finding supports the idea that surveillance does not just reflect current pain but contributes to future pain.
To replicate and expand upon these findings, Marshall conducted a fourth study with a sample of 84 undergraduate students from a Canadian university. The procedure mirrored the third study but extended the diary period to ten days and included newer platforms such as TikTok and VSCO. This study also included daily measures of jealousy to see how they fluctuated with social media use.
The results of the fourth study aligned with the previous findings. On days when participants engaged in active observation, they reported greater negative affect, breakup distress, and jealousy. Similar to the third study, active observation predicted greater breakup distress on the next day.
The study also found that attachment anxiety played a significant role in daily reactions. For participants with high attachment anxiety, both active and passive observation were significantly associated with feelings of jealousy. This reinforces the conclusion that anxious individuals are more vulnerable to the negative effects of digital exposure to an ex-partner.
The collective findings across all four studies present a consistent pattern. Observing an ex-partner on social media tends to be associated with poorer recovery from a breakup. This relationship holds true across different countries and platforms.
The research highlights that passive observation is not harmless. Simply remaining friends with an ex-partner or following them allows their content to infiltrate one’s feed, which is linked to daily spikes in negative emotion. Active surveillance appears to be more detrimental, as it predicts lingering distress that carries over into subsequent days.
There are limitations to this research that should be noted. The samples were drawn primarily from Western nations, and the latter two studies relied exclusively on university students. This demographic profile may not represent the experiences of older adults or individuals from different cultural backgrounds. Additionally, the measure for passive observation in the diary studies relied on self-reporting, which is subject to memory errors. Participants may not always recall every instance of passive exposure throughout the day.
Future research could address these gaps by recruiting more diverse samples. It would also be beneficial to investigate whether these patterns hold true for other types of relationship dissolution, such as the end of a close friendship or family estrangement. Another potential avenue for investigation would be an intervention study. Researchers could randomly assign participants to block or unfollow an ex-partner and measure whether this disconnection leads to faster emotional recovery compared to those who maintain digital ties.
The study, “Social Media Observation of Ex-Partners is Associated with Greater Breakup Distress, Negative Affect, and Jealousy,” was authored by Tara C. Marshall.
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