Just like Pinocchio sought to convince the world that he was in fact a real boy, or how Ariel wished to walk on land among human royalty, Derek has decided it’s time for him to make his mark as a serious physical threat in the Challenge house. Sure, everyone acknowledges his dominant social game; kiking with the ladies who have the power to protect him or entertaining the cast with his drag performances and tortilla-making lessons. But Derek wants to prove he’s not a layup and can hang with the tough guys. He wants Jordan quaking in his kinky boots!
After the elimination, Dare-Bear regroups with his besties, Cara Maria and Michele, after Michele saved his ass from being a target once again. Despite his ambitions for a challenge win, the girls are like, “Try really hard to give it your all at the daily so you don’t come in dead last, and we’ll take care of the rest.” Okay, so this new, big, macho persona is going to require a little workshopping before there’s any genuine buy-in. Kinda like when I decided to “be goth” in the sixth grade by painting my nails black before the first day of school — great first step, but it needed a little more oomph behind it.
In the Angels’ bedroom, Bananas chastises Josh for giving Michele permission to make him a target, which we learn via a flashback scene that was omitted from last week’s episode to preserve a semblance of narrative tension. Josh explains that he’s done playing a scared game and hiding from eliminations, instead hoping to earn his place in the final like a man. There’s already so much masculine bravado and we’re only seven minutes in!
I guess that’s fitting, because today, we have a red-meat-and-barbed-wire manly man’s challenge: jumping off of semitrucks. The game is called “’Nother Trucker” and instructs the players to hang off the side of a massive semi on a rope, swinging their bodies at the exact right time to hit a series of 12 targets placed throughout the road.
Cara and Tori, two highly competent challengers, make the first attempt, and they both struggle greatly with the wingspan needed to make contact with their targets. With the truck moving at 55 miles per hour, the timing is tricky, too, and there are several instances where Tori doesn’t even attempt to make her jump. This is the type of game where there’s a huge benefit to playing later in the lineup so you can learn from the mistakes of your predecessors.
The guys are having a much easier time — they can use their arms to reach the targets, while the women have to use their legs to make the distance. Bananas hits 11 out of 12, and Jordan gets a perfect score. Yet just when we thought it was all wrapped up, who emerges as a dark horse? Derek, who compares smashing targets to snatching weaves off the heads of unsuspecting queens at drag brunch.
All tied up, the duo must compete in a sudden-death tiebreaker round. But since neither of them are targets, the stakes are lower than my morale after a benched player on my fantasy team outperforms half my starting lineup. Derek is so hyped that he’s competing against Jordan, like that viral video of that little boy from Habitat for Humanity playing one-on-one with Caitlin Clark. This time around, the trucks are going faster and the targets have been rearranged, but that doesn’t stop Derek from dominating once again, proving to everyone that if the final has a rope swing involved, they all better hang on to their Under Armour hats.
For the women, Rachel wins and Aviv loses. Josh comes in last, despite Cory’s one-target penalty, meaning he’ll have put his money where his mouth is in the arena. Rachel will choose between her top ally, Bananas, and her friendly acquaintance, Cory, to be his opponent.
At club night, Cara debuts her drag alter ego, Karl, who is “exceptionally hung.” It’s nice to see Cara having fun on a Challenge again, after so many seasons of either forced or self-imposed isolation. Who can forget when she brattily sat alone in her room for hours during Jordan and Tori’s engagement party?
Bananas and Rachel have a heart-to-heart, where she lets him know she thinks he’s a “good guy,” even though he was a total dick to her on The Island 15 years ago. He claims this is nicer than anything anyone has ever said to him, including his mother and his many past girlfriends. Josh tries to have a heart-to-heart with Cory, telling him, “I love you like family,” to which Cory rightfully retorts, “Well, then, you better start treating me like family.” Josh only ever tries to invoke their history when it’s convenient and has no problem snaking him in any other circumstance. As Drake once said, “It’s too late for all that ‘I’m your brother’ shit.”
In the Chamber, Rachel makes it clear at the top that she’s sticking with Bananas, and Cory and Josh can finally work out their relationship tension in the sand, as men should. Josh cries about how he needs to fight the good fight and prove to himself (not the internet trolls … guilty!) that he’s worthy of appearing on an MTV show from the ’90s that no one watches anymore.
Cory FaceTimes with his No. 1 Challenge homie, Nelly T, who lost his right leg in a car accident. He tells Cory he’s getting his prosthetic that week, and the conversation adds additional gas to Cory’s tank, playing for both of them. Cory says he doesn’t want to be known as the best player to never win. At first, I was skeptical that this was a deserved title. I don’t think the name Cory would necessarily jump out of the mouth of a Challenge fan getting asked this question. I would lean toward Kyle, Theo, or Kam for the women, but then I looked up Cory’s stats, and a 12-4 elimination record is hard to argue with.
Josh, on the other hand, has a 1-5 record, which means despite his pregame affirmation session with Tori, the odds are not in his favor. If you bet your 401(k) on Josh and he won, you could probably buy the Lakers.
The elimination is called “Coming From Behind,” which the cast finds absolutely hysterical, making T.J. blush. The game is sort of like a less-concussion-oriented Hall Brawl. A giant wall separates the players, who both sprint toward a bell — the offensive player tries to ring the bell, while the defensive player tries to stop them.
Josh starts on offense. When he gets to the finish, Cory is already there, and Cory barely has to tap his shoulder to send Josh careening out of bounds. In the second round, Josh slips on the hay-bale obstacle, giving Cory a completely clear path to the bell. With all the momentum in the world behind him, Cory sweeps rounds three and four, sending Josh home. Josh cries for the third time this episode, as Josh is wont to do.
As the target master, Cory selects Jenny, Michele, and Aviv. Aviv has the audacity to say she “just can’t catch a break.” Um, girl, you can and you have. Bananas has protected you the entire season, and you’ve yet to see an elimination. She loves breaks so much she should audition for the Vacation Alliance next season.
When T.J. explains to Josh that he gets to cast karma points on his way out, he gives fives to Rachel, Bananas, and Tori, and leaves everyone else with ones, including Cory. Throwing Cory a bone could not be easier than it is in this instance, and Josh still chooses to screw him over. Isn’t family a beautiful thing?
