The Woman Who Bails on a Threesome

In this week’s story, a real-estate agent copes with her election anxiety by having sex with a stranger and going on a date with a couple: 33, single, Brooklyn.

DAY ONE

8 a.m. Like most people, I’m not sleeping well right now, so I took a sleep gummy last night and now I’m groggy. I don’t even think I slept. Maybe I did. Bottom line, I feel like ass.

9:20 a.m. I walk into my office, which is walkable from my apartment. No one else is here. I’m a real-estate agent, and most of us work from home or spend our days out with clients. I have a ton of paperwork to get through today, so it’s easiest if I do it from the office.

2 p.m. P checks in about our plans for tomorrow. I met P on Feeld. I don’t know his real name or anything about him. I don’t know if he’s married or has kids. He knows very little about me too. Our relationship is purely sexual. He comes over, we get right to it, and he leaves. It’s the most no-strings-attached dynamic I’ve ever been a part of, and it works well for me. It’s like a weekly sex-therapy appointment.

5 p.m. I’m showing my favorite client some brownstones. I love this man because he’s wealthy, classy, and well-educated in real estate and architecture. I just hope I can find him something he likes soon. Nothing on the list today is quite right.

8 p.m. At the gym. I like to work out at night because it exhausts me and then, ideally, I sleep better. I try not to look at the TV screens with CNN on them — I just don’t want to be stressed this late at night.

10 p.m. Home, showered, sleep gummy, bed.

DAY TWO

9 a.m. Caffeinating while swiping Feeld. There are so many profiles on here that scare me. I like the ones where the people seem normal and just slightly kinky. That’s how I would describe myself. I’m a straight-ish woman who likes casual sex and sometimes rough sex, and I’m open to threesomes and sex parties, but that’s about it. Call me vanilla!

11 a.m. More paperwork at the office. I have some closings to prepare for. I’ve been in real estate for about ten years and feel lucky that I can support myself with my work. One of the reasons my work is so reliable is that my siblings are also in real estate, and they’re incredibly successful, so they always refer people to me who they can’t help (I’m based in Brooklyn; they’re in Manhattan), and our family name seems to have a good reputation in the real-estate world, so I’ve definitely benefited from that. Also, I work seven days a week and I’m really fucking good at my job.

1 p.m. Lunch with my mom. I’m the only unmarried sibling and my parents worry about me. They know I march to the beat of my own drum, but I don’t think they realize I have men who I fuck on the reg, whose names I don’t know, nor do I want to. P is not my only casual-sex partner. I also have M, who lives in the midwest and sees me once a month when he’s here for work. And T — who I do know a lot about, since he also works in real estate. I’m totally in love with him, but he has a wife, and it’s messy and basically just a good ol’ unethical and illicit affair. I only see T a few times a year, and I really have to restrain my feelings for him.

My mom asks if I want to get married and have kids. The answer is yes — but I’m not ready to settle down and I’m happy with the way my life is now. I’m only 33.

5 p.m. Back home, getting ready for P, I make myself a negroni and eat a small dinner. P and I have been doing this for several months now, and I know what happens. We fuck for, like, four hours straight, and I’m depleted in the end. So I’m drinking, hydrating, and eating now to prepare.

7 p.m. P buzzes. He comes in. He’s super-hot. I don’t know how else to explain it. I look at him and I’m ready to fuck. We barely say more than “hello.” We kiss. He takes my clothes off. He sucks my tits, slaps them around a little (I love that). I blow him — his cock is gorgeous. We fuck in my bed. We rest. We repeat.

11 p.m. P is taking a quick shower and then he gets ready to leave. We always give each other the tightest hug when we say good-bye. It’s like we both know that this weird thing we have together is healing and restorative, and I think we both cherish it.

DAY THREE

9 a.m. My body feels sore, which I like. Take a long shower.

10 a.m. Company-wide breakfast today at a chic midtown restaurant. I put my earphones on and walk to the subway. Today I put on music instead of podcasts about politics. The election is in a few days and I’m already too tense about it. I voted early — for Harris, obviously — so now all I can do is wait and try to breathe.

1 p.m. Well, that was a weird few hours. I think half my colleagues might be Trump supporters — the ones who live in New Jersey. No one actually said that, but some of them were very quiet when the rest of us said we were praying for a Harris win. Hmm.

4 p.m. To detach from the world, I swipe on Feeld. I’m talking to this one guy, M, who wants to have a threesome with his girlfriend. I make it perfectly clear that I’m not into polyamory and I don’t want a relationship with a couple. But I’m interested in something purely physical. I’ve been with women a few times and while I love the idea of it, I end up just wanting a real-life cock inside me and not much else. They invite me over for tomorrow night and because I don’t have other plans and I need to continue to distract myself from politics, I say yes. For what it’s worth, this is the exact reason they want to have a threesome this week too — they are worried sick about the election. I feel safer knowing we share that common ground.

7 p.m. Sometimes when I’m having a glass of wine alone, at night, I want to text P or one of my other casual lovers to see what they’re doing. But it feels like such a violation of our boundaries. I do try to pay attention to those urges, however, because maybe they mean I want a relationship sometime soon. I haven’t had a serious relationship in five years. My ex and I were together for four years and I was bored to death and couldn’t wait to get out — it took years longer than it should have because he had some intense family issues going on, and I felt too guilty breaking his heart while he was dealing with other heavy shit.

10 p.m. I’ve tried to watch four different rom-coms to keep me off CNN, and they’re all too stupid to get into, so I’m going to bed. I know I’ll toss and turn for a few hours anyway.

DAY FOUR

8 a.m. Morning workout at the gym. I skipped the last two nights and I’m having a threesome tonight so I have to get it out of the way now.

11 a.m. I’m taking clients around today. They aren’t my favorite. They want some dream apartment and don’t have the budget for it. They’re basically delusional. But at some point they’ll buy something, so it’s worth it.

3 p.m. Throughout the day, M has texted about the plans for tonight: various boundaries (like, his girlfriend just wants to kiss me, which is fine). I tell him my only boundary is that he has to wear a condom. I also warn him that if it doesn’t feel good or sexy or right for me, I’m going to take off. That happened to me once. The couple wasn’t attractive to me and one of them had a weird smell, and I just wanted out. M is like, “I get it, no problem.”’

7 p.m. Glass of wine while I get dressed. I’m pretty excited, actually.

8 p.m. I go to their apartment. It’s an old building in Fort Greene but it looks pretty nice. I buzz. M comes to the door. He’s cute-ish. He’s a little feminine, very petite, but I’m curious to meet his girlfriend. She is cute-ish too, and really sweet, but they’re basically, like, tiny bookish hipsters. I’m not sure this is going to be for me. M makes me a cocktail and I swear it takes 20 minutes because he’s being precious about it. I quickly drink it, but I don’t know … I’m just not into them. They’re not that fun and I can’t see fucking them. After the drink, I tell M that I’m going to take off. It’s awkward, even though I warned him I might do that. They’re like, “Okay, so sorry it didn’t work out, bye.” Cringe!!

10 p.m. I’m so happy to be home. I mean, I guess it’s a good story, but I’m so happy I didn’t have to get naked with those two.

DAY FIVE

10 a.m. Slow start today. I’m a little bit over my lifestyle. The election is in two days and I just want to crawl under a rock, to be honest.

1 p.m. Lunch with my sister. She’s kicking me a really big client so she wants to review the details. We also catch up on regular things. I love my sister and her husband and her kids. I’m really blessed to have such a close family. I tell her about the failed threesome. She’s obsessed with my stories. She tells me she wants to set me up with a guy who she just sold a penthouse to, Z. He sounds kind of perfect other than the fact that he’s been divorced twice, but who am I to judge?

3 p.m. I go to the office to get some properties together for the client my sister just gave me.

6 p.m. Spend the rest of the night at the gym. First I work out, then I do steam and sauna.

9 p.m. I feel refreshed. I’m going to try and find another rom-com to watch just to get through the night. I ended up rewatching season two of The White Lotus and it fills me with joy.

DAY SIX

8 a.m. I’m up for a very early dentist appointment.

9 a.m. From the waiting room, I Google Z, the guy my sister wants me to meet. I read up on his two marriages, one of which was with a high-profile actress. I see he’s in finance. He seems sexy and has a cool lifestyle, but he’s probably a player. I text my sister to set us up anyway. Clearly I’m drawn to trouble.

1 p.m. Meeting with my accountant. I’m making some seriously good money this year and need to figure out how to manage my finances better.

3 p.m. Take myself to a late lunch — all in the name of taking my mind off tomorrow’s election — and play around on Feeld. I ask M, the guy from the midwest, when he’s in town next. He says he’ll be here in a few weeks and we make a plan to fuck in his hotel room. This gives me a nice hit of endorphins.

7 p.m. Dinner with some girlfriends. I have a group of friends I’ve known my entire life because I grew up in NYC. I’m the last one standing in terms of single life, so I barely even try to see them anymore as they’re all so busy with their husbands and babies. But we’ve had this night on the books for a while. It’s great to see everyone. They all want to set me up and I tell them I’m open to (almost) any and all.

10 p.m. After being with my married friends, I need a hit of sexy danger, so I go onto Feeld and try to find someone who wants to fuck tonight. The only quick answer I get is from a Russian guy whose details are too shady even for me. I end up blocking him, but the act of flirting with a dirty, sexy stranger makes me wet enough that I masturbate before bed.

DAY SEVEN

9 a.m. It’s Election Day and since I already voted, all I can do is keep calm and carry on.

11 a.m. Meeting with new clients today. We’re just having lunch. They’re visiting from the West Coast so I’m going to talk to them about various Brooklyn neighborhoods and cultures. A close friend referred them to me and told me we’d really click.

2 p.m. Now I know why my friend said that … they are the sexiest couple I’ve ever met! They are literally both gorgeous and playful and they don’t have kids yet, which means they still have a lot of sex! They didn’t explicitly say that, but we drank wine at lunch and we just got silly talking about our personal lives, and they were like, “Yeah, no kids for us yet, which means we actually still love each other and fuck each other!” They’re cool; I like them. I’d have a threesome with them for sure, but that did not come up.

4 p.m. The wine at lunch has made me sleepy so I try to nap, knowing there’s no point in turning on the news until later tonight anyway.

7 p.m. After a nice nap, I decide to order dinner and sink into the couch. It’s going to be a long night ahead. I’m not very hopeful, to be honest, but I’m still going to cheer for my girl and keep my fingers and toes crossed.

10 p.m. As the night devolves, I feel super-depressed and anxious. I swipe around on Feeld a bit and end up talking to this guy. I’m so close to inviting him over to have crazy, random sex as the world falls apart, but I decide that’s a little too much, even for me.

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