Well, This Is a Gross Way to Talk About Cynthia Erivo’s Nails

Photo-Illustration: by The Cut; Photos: Getty Images

Looks like my least favorite podcaster is asking gross questions again. During Monday’s episode of the Armchair Expert podcast, host Dax Shepard took things in a strange direction when he began probing Wicked star Cynthia Erivo about the length of her nails. The actress’s intricate emerald acrylics have been a staple of the ongoing Wicked press tour, with her debuting a new set at nearly every red-carpet event (and there have been many). Deciding to ask a “really crazy” and “inappropriate” question, Shepard wondered, “When you’re wiping your butt …” Not a promising start. Erivo quickly cut the 49-year-old off, saying, “I knew you would ask that question.”

“My answer is that nobody uses just their fingers to wipe their backside,” Erivo said. “You use tissue, correct? And you wipe!”

For some reason, Shepard continued this line of questioning, asking the actress if she uses the “tips of the fingernails” to grab toilet paper. Displaying a master class in patience, Erivo said she uses the “pads of the fingers” because she’s a “functioning adult.” Refusing to drop the matter, the podcaster then asked if Erivo was offended by questions about her acrylics.

“I’m annoyed by it. I’m like, ‘Come on, guys.’ But I get it,” she said. “Here’s the thing: There are people who do not have nails who need to check how they’re wiping.”

Just when you think Shepard might’ve allowed Erivo to get back to discussing her craft, her Emmy, her Grammy, or her Tony, he asked if she ever felt a “little tickle of the nails on the crack,” to which she responded, “No, because the tissue is there.” Someone give this woman a medal for enduring this exchange.

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