Why humor could be a game-changer for parents

A new study published in PLOS One suggests that humor can strengthen parent-child relationships and enhance the effectiveness of parenting strategies. This research is among the first to delve deeply into how humor could serve as a parenting tool, with most participants agreeing that the benefits outweigh the risks.

For centuries, experts have advised parents on structure, consistency, and discipline when raising their children. What if a corny dad joke or a playful impersonation could defuse tensions when they arise?

Previous research has demonstrated that humor promotes cognitive flexibility, which is the ability to adapt to changing situations and find creative solutions. Led by Lucy Emery, researchers from Penn State College of Medicine hypothesized that this skill could be critical in parenting, where surprises and challenges are constant.

“Humor can teach people cognitive flexibility, relieve stress, and promote creative problem solving and resilience,” said Benjamin Levi, professor of pediatrics and humanities at Penn State College of Medicine and senior author of the study. “My father used humor and it was very effective. I use humor in my clinical practice and with my own children. The question became, how does one constructively use humor?”

To investigate this, the team surveyed 312 adults from the United States aged 18 to 45, many of whom were parents or planning to become parents, using Amazon’s online platform Mechanical Turk (MTurk). Participants completed a 10-item questionnaire about their upbringing and their views on humor as a parenting strategy.

An analysis of the results revealed that over half of the respondents (55%) reported that their parents used humor during their childhood. Additionally, 72% believed humor to be an effective tool for parenting, with 63% indicating that it has more potential benefits than risks. Furthermore, 62% reported that they either use or plan to use humor in parenting their own children.

Interestingly, those who reported having good relationships with their parents were significantly more likely to say their parents used humor. They were also more likely to view humor as an effective parenting tool, suggesting a connection between humor and stronger bonds.

What makes humor such a potent tool? The researchers highlight several benefits: it can diffuse tense situations that are headed for conflict, model problem-solving skills, and create a shared sense of joy between parents and children. For instance, a playful “tantrum” from a parent might distract and surprise a toddler on the verge of throwing their own tantrum, turning tears into laughter.

“There’s an interesting parallel between business and parenting, which are both hierarchical. In business, humor has been shown to help reduce hierarchies, create better environments for collaboration and creativity and diffuse tension,” said Emery, who was a medical student at Penn State College of Medicine at the time of the research and currently a pediatrics resident at Boston Children’s Hospital. “While parent-child relationships are more loving than business relationships, stressful situations happen a lot when parenting. Humor can help diffuse that tension and hierarchy and help both parties feel better about a stressful situation.”

While the findings are promising, the study has its caveats. The sample was not fully representative, with a majority of participants identifying as white (77%) and male (64%). Moreover, there is no single definition of ‘humor’ and individuals may have interpreted the questions differently.

Despite these limitations, the study opens the door to exciting possibilities. Nearly 70% of participants expressed interest in a parenting course that teaches how to use humor effectively. As the researchers suggest, such courses could help parents avoid harsh discipline and foster more positive interactions with their children.

“My hope is that people can learn to use humor as an effective parenting tool, not only to diffuse tension but develop resilience and cognitive and emotional flexibility in themselves and model it for their children,” Levi said.

The study, “Humor in Parenting: Does it Have a Role?“, was authored by Lucy Emery, Anne Libera, Erik Lehman, and Benjamin H. Levi.