A recent study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships suggests that the way people interact with attractive strangers on TikTok can impact the trust and satisfaction in their romantic relationships. The research provides evidence that watching or liking “thirst traps” tends to harm a relationship, especially if the people in the videos look physically different from a person’s actual partner.
Scientists wanted to understand how modern social media algorithms influence the stability of romantic relationships. On platforms like TikTok, the content a user sees is heavily dictated by an automated system that recommends videos based on previous engagement, rather than just the accounts a person chooses to follow. This algorithm curates a personalized video feed, which often includes “thirst traps.”
Thirst traps are videos specifically created to highlight an attractive person’s body or elicit sexual interest from viewers. Because the algorithm pushes content based on a user’s viewing habits, the continuous presence of attractive alternatives on this feed might signal a wavering commitment to a current partner.
Algorithms are highly effective at facilitating new connections for single people looking to expand their social networks. Yet for people in committed relationships, these same algorithms can introduce unwanted temptations by constantly suggesting attractive alternatives.
Researchers wanted to see if people could pick up on these digital signals and how these perceptions might alter the quality of their relationship. Past studies have looked at how individuals ignore or devalue attractive alternatives to protect their relationships. Few studies have explored how one partner’s view of the other partner’s digital habits changes relationship dynamics.
“This study was motivated by a conference discussion group on close relationship dynamics within the context of social media. One of my main research interests is in studying how people in committed relationships perceive alternative threats,” said study author Alexandra E. Black, a postdoctoral scholar at Rutgers School of Public Health.
“In other words, how do people perceive their romantic partners interacting with attractive people, and how does this impact their relationships? I’ve applied my construct, known as perceived partner devaluation to the context of Instagram and dating applications, and this current study is a timely addition with an application to TikTok.”
“TikTok has quickly become one of the most popular social media platforms; as a side effect, TikTok can introduce alternative threat into relationships via ‘Thirst Traps.’ My team wanted to determine how perceptions of alternatives on TikTok are associated with relationship satisfaction and trust and if there are specific characteristics about TikTok alternatives (e.g., perceived dissimilarity) that make them more threatening.”
The scientists recruited 65 romantic couples, totaling 130 individuals, for an online survey. The participants were an average of 29 years old and predominantly identified as heterosexual. The researchers asked each person a series of questions about their own TikTok use and their awareness of the videos their partner watched.
Participants reported how attractive they found the people on their own video feeds, as well as how attractive they believed their partner found the people on their partner’s feed. The scientists also measured whether participants were projecting. Projection occurs when a person assumes their partner shares their exact same thoughts and feelings about an attractive stranger, such as projecting their own attraction onto their partner.
By measuring this projection, the researchers could isolate how much of a person’s worry was based on reality versus their own imagination. Finally, the survey asked about active engagement, like following a creator or liking a video. It also measured passive engagement, such as simply watching a video that appeared automatically on the screen. Participants then answered standard psychological questionnaires to assess their overall relationship trust and satisfaction.
The data revealed distinct patterns regarding how digital behaviors relate to relationship trust and satisfaction. Surprisingly, the researchers found that a person’s beliefs about how often their partner watched or liked TikTok videos did not significantly change their relationship trust or satisfaction. The data showed no meaningful link between a person’s perceptions of their partner’s digital habits and their overall relationship quality.
“It was surprising that perceptions of the partner interacting with TikTok alternatives did not significantly predict relationship quality,” Black told PsyPost. “There are well known findings within the relationship science literature that suggest relationship perceptions > reality with predicting relationship outcomes. Perhaps our sample was not aware enough of their partner’s TikTok involvement for their perceptions to influence feelings of trust and satisfaction.”
Instead, only the partner’s actual, self-reported engagement with attractive strangers on the app predicted negative relationship outcomes. When participants believed their partner was already highly committed to the relationship, the partner’s actual digital habits did not significantly impact relationship trust. But when participants believed their partner was not highly committed to the relationship, the partner’s actual digital habits became highly relevant.
If the partner reported that they genuinely viewed the people on TikTok as unattractive, the participants tended to experience a higher level of trust. This suggests that a partner’s actual protective behaviors might be more influential than what a person merely perceives their partner to be doing. Taking active steps to internally devalue digital temptations appears to reassure a doubtful partner.
The researchers also found that engaging with attractive people on TikTok was negatively associated with relationship quality, depending on who was in the videos. When a partner actively liked or followed attractive users who looked physically dissimilar to the participant, the participant reported lower trust and lower relationship satisfaction.
Even passive engagement, like simply watching videos of dissimilar attractive people when they popped up on the screen, was linked to reduced relationship satisfaction. The scientists suggest this might occur because seeing a partner engage with a very different physical “type” challenges a person’s assumptions about what their partner finds ideal. This physical discrepancy can introduce new insecurities into the relationship.
“Having a partner that is actually not tempted by attractive TikTok alternatives is what matters for protecting trust,” Black said. “This is particularly the case when perceived partner commitment might be wavering, or a person has doubts about their partner’s commitment. A person actively engaging with TikTok alternatives (e.g., following their accounts, liking their videos), however, is harmful to relationship quality (i.e., satisfaction and trust), especially if the alternative doesn’t look like their current partner.”
While this study provides evidence about the intersection of social media and romantic commitment, there are a few potential misinterpretations and limitations to consider. The study relied on self-reported estimates of TikTok use, which might not perfectly reflect a person’s actual screen time or viewing habits. The research was also observational at a single point in time, meaning the scientists cannot definitively prove that watching TikTok videos directly causes relationship issues.
“We would love to determine causality in a follow-up study by experimentally manipulating perceptions of TikTok alternatives,” Black said. “Stay tuned!”
“One strength of this study is that we collected data from both members of each couple to obtain a dyadic perspective of these processes. This was an extremely enjoyable research process and that was largely due to my awesome team. Thank you Liesel, Sara, and Karissa!”
The study, “Is my partner watching thirst traps? Associations between perceptions of a partner’s TikTok alternatives and relationship quality,” was authored by Alexandra E. Black, Liesel L. Sharabi, Sara Cloonan, and Karissa L. Beesley.
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